Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize