My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
