Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
