Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
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