Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
