I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
