The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I am naked and annoyed.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
