Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Life is so much better after having sex.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize