just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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