if you like me you must not know who I am
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
