there was a trapeze. enough said
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
