it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
