Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
