he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize