No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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