Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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