We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize