Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
