how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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