home. puking in laundry basket.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
