Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
