Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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