I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it's like iHOP with fire
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
