Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
