kristin has been a bad kristin
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i drank out of a bidet.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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