you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize