My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
