I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
