actually, I'm a sock model
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
