New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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