i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
