The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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