I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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