planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It was confusing and full of hummus
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
