I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I had to cum in my sink.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
