I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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