Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
