I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
