sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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