I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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