goodnight i made you a song goodbye
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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