can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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