the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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