I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
