i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
