are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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