NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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