Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
