why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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