my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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