Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
