On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
