It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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