so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
