yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
