I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
