he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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