I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
