So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
